Saturday, August 23, 2008

Am I Loved


I am in the process of finishing a book I have been reading, and for right now I’m going to omit the name and the author only because of the innate tendency within us to wow over them both, verses the One they’re pointing to.

I said to my wife in reading this book, it has ‘felt’ as if my Father has been pummeling my heart, blow after loving blow. Now on top of this I sensed him saying it was this pummeling he was doing that was needed to begin to break up the
fallow ground of my heart in light of that which was about to spring forth.
I don’t want to sound melodramatic; especially the only verse in the Scriptures that rang true with my spirit regarding the 'fallow ground' thing, was the one from Hosea 10:12 which you can read in the link I provided.
All I know is of late once again I have been going through a severe and tumultuous sifting. There have been times feeling like I was going to explode, as if my skin (earth suite) was way too tight/small for me.

Like a deer caught unexpectedly in the head lights of an on coming car in the thick darkness of night, I feel much the same being unexpectedly caught in the light of His loving gaze probing into the depths of my being. I eagerly and yet patiently wait on His loving advances.

In the midst of this inner turmoil and distress I have sensed His closeness and this video clip points to that which I cannot put into words regarding His love for me.



Rich

2 comments:

Amy said...

Rich,
Many blessings to you. Yes, sometimes the rough patches are just plain tough. But as you said, God is doing wonderfully enriching things to you through it.

I loved what you said here:
"Father has been pummeling my heart, blow after loving blow. Now on top of this I sensed him saying it was this pummeling he was doing that was needed to begin to break up the fallow ground of my heart in light of that which was about to spring forth."

"In the midst of this inner turmoil and distress I have sensed His closeness...that which I cannot put into words regarding His love for me."

Isn't it also so beautiful how Father, Son and Holy Spirit can speak to us, bring growth, and healing through our openness and willingness to receive Him in whatever He tells us as we through words in a book?

Blessings,
~Amy :)
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com

Rich said...

Amy,

I liked what you said here, "Yes, sometimes the rough patches are just plain tough. But as you said, God is doing wonderfully enriching things to you through it."

My wife has started using her rock tumbler machine and believe me when I say this thing is noisey, wow, but the racket is all part of the grinding, buffeting, sanding, refining and eventually polishing of these already precious stones in my wife's eyes, but seeing them when they are fully processed, the beauty is now evident to even me.

I am beginning to see through Papa's eyes what He sees when he looks at me and says, I Love you son. So much of what I think is unfinished in my life and prevents Him from loving me fully is but the stuff that is being removed in His personal rock tumbling machine He has me in.

The etching the different grades of sands my wife is using in her machine is only enhancing the beauty that is already there in those stones.

Blessings to you!!