Please read part 1 here.
yahdavea: In other words, seeing myself now, my worries have been based on a focus turned on me and my abilities or inabilities... and I forgot Who it is that with Me and guiding me and constantly proving Himself to me... that He is faithful and reliable.
Rich: WOW! Yes
Rich: are those worries pointing to your abilities or His-Yes
yahdavea: There is such a strong urge to worry... to forget... as if He said... "Well Dave, I was there for you last week, ya know, just to get you going. Now the rest is up to you, kid."
Rich: once again living with orphan thoughts
yahdavea: orphan thoughts?
Rich: Father says, Son, we're in this together
Rich: living as an orphan,
yahdavea: oh... I have not left you as.... Got it
yahdavea: orphan thoughts.. Good there.
yahdavea: Lately I have put myself in panic mode
Rich: the biggest lie is that we R in this all alone
Rich: panic mode spoke to me
yahdavea: for me it's been this growing need to have someone, in the flesh, to tell me what to do next
Rich: like the panic button on my remote car keys
Rich: we panic, press the button and pow, wow, oh there U R Father
Rich: U know you can't remember where U parked the car, press the panic button, and you hear it and see it, oh, there it is
yahdavea: you do that too?
yahdavea: The world is one big parking garage where every level, nook and cranny, just starts looking the same after a while.
Rich: it is going to be a continued imo (in my opinion) Him walking you through whatever other fears that will come only to use that in setting/making U free from the inside out
yahdavea: I trust so, bro
yahdavea: I am so grateful to be reminded of all this
Rich: me 3
yahdavea: and how quickly we can turn back... to our own stinking weak abilities
Rich: simply reminding you of what you know is the truth as you do with me
yahdavea: right on Brutha
Rich: its not a one man show
yahdavea: no way José
Rich: its a family discovering together what it means and looks like to live and love one another
yahdavea: yes... hand in hand... and sometimes even foot in mouth
yahdavea: It's so huge... you know... just looking at this Life and all the pieces and parts.... and trying, with our finite minds to grasp it.
Rich: it is
yahdavea: And it can be exhausting but He says LOOK TO ME
yahdavea: and that should quickly simplify things
yahdavea: But we want to see how it all works so we can play God
Rich: this life to quote the ghost and Mrs. Muir, is blood and swash
yahdavea: a lot of swash
Rich: funny thing re: 'control' in the list of the fruit of the spirit being Love and all of the rest mere expressions of that love, the last expression is self-control-ha!
yahdavea: wow right
Rich: regarding some things Dave shared with me that need to be kept private that is causing some unsettledness in him.
yahdavea: I mention it because I feel torn
yahdavea: would it be my depending less on God to build my biz?
yahdavea: Probably a crazy thought
yahdavea: What I mean is, I ask myself if joining such a group would be depending more on them than on God
Rich: ha. imo NO WAY, He is in you freeing you to live, and that does not spell control, as in if its Him, no bad thing will ever happen to me
Rich: no pain can touch me as a Jesus bubble boy~ha
yahdavea: So go with it
yahdavea: I think it's my fear of making the wrong decision
Rich: bro, go with the knowing that in all things He is there and will never leave you
yahdavea: And I know it's silly
yahdavea: I know He'd be with me either if I join or don’t