Alive; But Dead

"Many people struggle with the question, Why am I not fulfilled when I am doing all the things that I believe God wants me to do?" It's because God's purpose is not that we should focus on doing the right things, rather, he wants us to focus on Him. Obedience occurs as we trust Jesus within us to fulfill the desires of His Father through us."

I cannot help but wonder in reading this, how does one justify their 'calling-anointing-ministry' they have...is this something even greater than trusting Him to be all He wants to be in me, through me as me?

Was Jesus actually just a self-seeking dude extremely frustrated by his extended thirty year camp out in obscurity, chomping at the bit wondering when, if he was ever going to be really completely fulfilled in walking in his ‘ministry?’
Was it really just a smoke screen He used, cloaking his pent up angst, and all the time trying to present himself as this totally dependent man trusting in his Father’s life within him?
Using my imagination here, was this a picture of the real Jesus; imagine Jesus getting frustrated while waiting for the next time Papa got around to using-working through him, here he is in a back alley doing some cool magic tricks to keep the crowds coming.

We might get offended by these questions but I see them being valid in light of so many that are still trying to obtain their ‘holy grail’ aka ministry or walking in IT.
I know first hand the endless frustration of having perused this assumed ‘calling’ on my life only to step into it not realizing He had lovingly used my selfish choices to trap me.

I am convinced that we know nothing of what Life is supposed to be all about apart from Him, Jesus saying; ‘I have come that you might have life-and having an abundance of it.’
Is The Life of the Father revealed in and through the Son, that very same life of the Father in the son through His spirit that is now in me sufficient for whatever I face, choices, decisions, life death whatever?

The self-seeking independent-self is able through the obliging assistance of the father of lies within our flesh masquerading himself in and through that independent-self and appealing to our unmet unfulfilled need to DO something, even go into the ministry, go to the mission field, take a vow of poverty, start a church, anything that would somehow fill the void of no longer being seen as just a regular Joe!

Like Tina Turner said, ‘What’s Love got to do with it’, only I’m asking what has our works got to do with adding or taking away from that which is referred to as the ‘unspeakable gift of Life’?

Is it possible that at best what most of the world as seen in our sincere but sincerely wrong fleshly attempts to portray Jesus is just the FLESH, a cheap imitation?

Rich