Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Shut Up

A memory was brought to mind this morning. Thinking back on it, it seems so very long ago, and yet it is as current as today, the healing touch of the Father’s hands pressing upon eyes that are barely able to see.
Oh the wonder of this one, this King, Lord, and yet He alone has birthed by His spirit a cry from within the depths of my being, Abba-Papa!

The memory was maybe twenty five years ago, I was sitting in the Devonshire Mall in Windsor Ontario, I had done some shopping or had seen a movie, that is still a bit foggy right now, but anyway there I was sitting waiting for my precious wife to show up at the place we’d designated to meet.
While sitting there (trying to be patient) somehow over the mall din this faint but persistent noise attached itself to my hearing. Tap, tap, tap, tap, what the heck was this? I soon discovered it was the sound of a blind man walking around through the maze of this congested mall and the cane he was using was doing the tap dance sound effects I was hearing.
I didn’t give it a whole lot of thought at that moment until several minutes later, here comes that same knowable sound of, tap, tap, tap. What the????
Sure enough it’s the blind man once again, only this time it was different, suddenly I am aware of my Father asking me a question about this enigma. “Son, who is blinder than a blind man?” to which I stood mute within my heart, thinking, you got me on this one, Papa. He then spoke these words/thoughts into my heart, “Only a man who has eyes to see and yet cannot see is one who is blinder than a blind man.”

Who you calling blind - me? Yup! I was there with my pants down around my ankles on this one, but the funny thing about it all was that I was not being condemned, but enlightened and awakened to a much greater reality of knowing Him then I presently thought I had.
My Papa has been and is continually working on my blindness to this day, and my hope is He will never stop. Oh how I long to see with ever greater clarity!

So why have I entitled this blog piece, “Shut Up?” Well this talking of blindness also triggered thoughts about the blind man called Bartimaeus.

"Then they came to Jericho And as He was leaving Jericho with His disciples and a large crowd, a blind beggar named Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, was sitting by the road. When he heard that it was Jesus the Nazarene, he began to cry out and say, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Many were sternly telling him to be quiet, but he kept crying out all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" And Jesus stopped and said, "Call him here." So they called the blind man, saying to him, "Take courage, and stand up! He is calling for you." Throwing aside his cloak, he jumped up and came to Jesus. And answering him, Jesus said, "What do you want Me to do for you?" And the blind man said to Him, "[Rabboni, I want to regain my sight!" And Jesus said to him, "Go; your faith has made you well." Immediately he regained his sight and began following Him on the road."

Funny how so many voices, at least in my life, have been telling me to shut up over the years, just as in blind Bart’s life, only to discover that although blind at the time, there was awakened within him a consciousness, a knowing, that Light was about to put out the fear of darkness that kept him and me crippled.
One of the greatest helps to me in seeing things in sharper focus is what I call, ‘thinking out loud.’ It is in putting thoughts, ideas, ponderings out in the visible, audible realm where I can hear myself think, and more often than not without any fanfare there comes such breath-taking epiphanies.

Religion is a static, fossilized, imprisonment, it allows no movement outside the lines/box, and when someone as in my case, me, begins to dare to think out loud, attracts the attention of those bound up in fear and lash out with all kinds of unfounded accusations.
What are you saying, Bro, are you trying to add or take away from the Holy Scriptures etc., etc? To my surprise I hear myself responding, “Nope, I’m merely asking more questions and wanting to see how He is fitting all things together.’

Bottom line, I refuse to ever shut up. Somehow this God and Father that has called me to Himself seems to delight in my stubborn persistence of wanting to know Him more than merely blending in with the darkness.


1 comment:

Free Spirit said...

Yes, I relate. Writing out my thoughts has already done a world of good for me, even though I am left feeling somewhat vulnerable, and many times too exposed. But, I love how Father is using it in my life.
Way better than "church"! I'm hearing Him so much louder now!!
So, yeah, let's never shut up.