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This may be one of my last postings here on my blog for a while, I’ll see, as things progress.
I have seen and continued to be lovingly reminded of the bull shit that continues to relentlessly harass me, and yes this awareness is all coming from my loving Father’s stubborn, unrelenting loving heart for me.
Without knowing and I mean just that KNOWING/experiencing His pure unconditional love for me, then its all bull shit no matter how it’s sliced or diced. His love alone is the only thing that can free me to be known for not only who I am, but who’s I am, and that has been the heartbeat/pulse of my life ever since this earth shattering awakening within me after seeing as it were my whole life being flushed down the toilet after being ‘euphemistically’ let go/fired from the ‘ministry’ from what I had been pursuing since he apprehended me in 1972.
When I say ‘earth shattering’ I mean just that, I am not being melodramatic in the least. Anyone who will try and tell me that having an ever increasing deepening relationship/holy encounter with this God/Father that IS a consuming fire is a cake walk is sadly and badly mistaken.
I am seeing but smidges of the overtness and the covertness of the indelible stain of sin that has permeated my flesh and ALL flesh, and there is NO escaping this horrific bastard apart from KNOWING the true, unconditional love of God the Father.
I was so profoundly motivated and encouraged by what my brother Darin Hufford shared the other day, (Permission to be Human) I would go as far as saying I was impaled with the truth of the Father’s great love that presented a fresh and living way of escape from all of the true lies I know I believe and those that are non the less covertly keeping me operating, being known for who I am NOT!
I can so readily identify with the lowly chameleon, because of knowing so much shit in my head about God’s love, a graphic picture that comes to mind are those babies born with huge heads because of water on the brain.
Without the reality of His love defining me as His son, bringing a living importance to what it means to have value, worth and significance, then because there are NO vacuums, I will easily take on the role of the chameleon, blending in with whatever bull shit it takes to try and define who I am.
I have never been more ecstatic in the devastation and deconstruction my loving Papa has and is doing in my life and in the lives of so many others.The church that Jesus is building is no bogus bull shit lie, what He saw in so much religion 2000 years ago has not changed one wit.
Outwardly the overt piousness/respectability of the religious leaders was more often than not but a cloaking device masking the covertness of them being as Jesus himself so lovingly and aptly put it, ‘You brood of vipers, you outwardly give the impression of that which is pure, but inwardly you are but empty tombs, filled with death and corruption-dead mans bones.
I so want to be one of His sons as a result of knowing/experiencing His love for me, not only worship Him with my lips, but deeply as well from and with my Whole heart.
That I might KNOW HIM!
Rich
I have seen and continued to be lovingly reminded of the bull shit that continues to relentlessly harass me, and yes this awareness is all coming from my loving Father’s stubborn, unrelenting loving heart for me.
Without knowing and I mean just that KNOWING/experiencing His pure unconditional love for me, then its all bull shit no matter how it’s sliced or diced. His love alone is the only thing that can free me to be known for not only who I am, but who’s I am, and that has been the heartbeat/pulse of my life ever since this earth shattering awakening within me after seeing as it were my whole life being flushed down the toilet after being ‘euphemistically’ let go/fired from the ‘ministry’ from what I had been pursuing since he apprehended me in 1972.
When I say ‘earth shattering’ I mean just that, I am not being melodramatic in the least. Anyone who will try and tell me that having an ever increasing deepening relationship/holy encounter with this God/Father that IS a consuming fire is a cake walk is sadly and badly mistaken.
I am seeing but smidges of the overtness and the covertness of the indelible stain of sin that has permeated my flesh and ALL flesh, and there is NO escaping this horrific bastard apart from KNOWING the true, unconditional love of God the Father.
I was so profoundly motivated and encouraged by what my brother Darin Hufford shared the other day, (Permission to be Human) I would go as far as saying I was impaled with the truth of the Father’s great love that presented a fresh and living way of escape from all of the true lies I know I believe and those that are non the less covertly keeping me operating, being known for who I am NOT!
I can so readily identify with the lowly chameleon, because of knowing so much shit in my head about God’s love, a graphic picture that comes to mind are those babies born with huge heads because of water on the brain.
Without the reality of His love defining me as His son, bringing a living importance to what it means to have value, worth and significance, then because there are NO vacuums, I will easily take on the role of the chameleon, blending in with whatever bull shit it takes to try and define who I am.
I have never been more ecstatic in the devastation and deconstruction my loving Papa has and is doing in my life and in the lives of so many others.The church that Jesus is building is no bogus bull shit lie, what He saw in so much religion 2000 years ago has not changed one wit.
Outwardly the overt piousness/respectability of the religious leaders was more often than not but a cloaking device masking the covertness of them being as Jesus himself so lovingly and aptly put it, ‘You brood of vipers, you outwardly give the impression of that which is pure, but inwardly you are but empty tombs, filled with death and corruption-dead mans bones.
I so want to be one of His sons as a result of knowing/experiencing His love for me, not only worship Him with my lips, but deeply as well from and with my Whole heart.
That I might KNOW HIM!
Rich
5 comments:
HI RICH
I WANT to be able to worship HIm that same way toom deeply from within, out of a result of His love for me. I think I am seeing glimpses of it but they seem to come and go. To be connected by love and nothing else , heart to heart. And be able to recognize the bullshit as just what it is !
Hey, how come this is your last post ? where am I going to find you
will you be over at unfolding mystery ?
and a big hug to your wife today from me for Mother's Day !
Ruth
Ruth,
I'm not leaving, just regrouping. My hearts cry has always been to know Him, as I am sure it is yours and each one Papa has Fathered.
I am one of those ancient ones miraculously caught in the net of His grace in the thick of the Jesus People dayz and it was a fashionable thing back then to have friends write something from the heart into the fly leaf of your bible if you had one.
So many precious and heart felt thoughts inscribed on/in those pages.
One of those inscribed thoughts was from my first pastor who quoted from Philippians 3:10..that I might KNOW Him etc. little did I realize the power hidden within those words, when sevearl years later Papa spoke to my heart saying, 'You have marvelled over those words written on paper and their meaning, but I am going to write them into your heart.'
To this day that wonderful Holy Ghost story still haunts me, it is a relentless song He is singing, wooing me ever deeper into this Sacred Romance.
I so detect the child likeness in you Ruth, your love for Him alone is a powerful fragrance.
In my opinion this is the magic of learning of Him and His grace, as every need is being met within us as we drink deeply of His love, others are drawn to Him through us and we don't need to get in the way at all...now that is so cool.
Ruth,
I apologize, I meant to wish you as well a most wonder-filled Happy Mother's day!
My wife was gone for part of the weekend and only got back later this afternoon, the three of us, my wife our son and myself went out for a late lunch together, it was a wonderful time of celebrating my wife andd my son's Mother.
I wish our daughter could have been there with us, but she is just finishing up away at University. She did send a beautiful poem she wrote especially just for her mom, it deeply touched her heart, it is a treasured gift as much as our daughter IS.
Keep chasing him. I have to believe you're headed in the right direction - away from the bullshit!
Tina,
Thanks so much, I appreciate that!
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